who am i?

again, or rather not realli again, today reach sch at 13.30. veri lazy, 躺在床上就不想起来. obviously i skipping all lessons today la, somehow, 放自己一天假. tinking back, i realise i long time nv like that le, in a sense last time i always do this but last week i manage to like 100% attendance, which is a big achievements le for me. no late no nothing.

i read my previous posts and ask myself: Who am I now? tis question came to my mind, cos i realli feel much different than b4. it's onli 2 months and i think i like change quite a lot le. 这么善变的我…有点恐怖. 真的很乱. i don noe wat am i doing now. after working for around 2 weeks, i realli don noe how i realli feel, whether i feel tired or wat, or no time for tings or wat. 脑袋就空空的, 什么都不想. perhaps now, i have no time to tink about the questions i tink about last time. and as you can see, i don tink i can realli express well about myself now. 我变笨了? i am like so damn dotz lo, confused by myself, but tis is realli the truth.

莫名的伤感　无奈的狼狈
我变了…　　现在的我　
少了点快乐　多了点犹豫
少了点规律　多了点彷徨
少了点自由　多了份不自在
也许只有陶醉在音乐里
才能放下一切　忘记所有…

that is wat i wrote on may 2005, but now...

城市的速度　我飞快地跟
我变了…　　现在的我
少了点时间　多了点困惑
少了点安慰　多了点恐惧
少了点了解　多了点模糊
但不变的是
陶醉在音乐里
始终能让我放下一切　忘记所有…

i wonder how long can i survive. that day the manager of the mac told me about the policy, the whole job system and all those craps things. like 1 year can have 7 paid leave, 14 paid medical leave and like work 10 months can have 11 monhs pay and all those things, i am like, wonder, haha, can i get so far? she even sent me to what nsrs course (don noe wat national recognise standard or someting) which i am like, haha, 我能撑到哪儿吗?

this saturday, most prob going to k-box, no matter wid who la, maybe my bro, but jus want to sing out loud, somehow 发泄. and realli, i tink i oso getting toopider, cos tis post realli took me much effort, think now, don noe why, cant like 一笔成章le.

有如迷失在另一个星球里
就连风吹、叶落
对我来说
都好像好陌生…
也许是时候应该安定下来
选择一段长久的路…